Sheena Easton - Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair) (EMI)

Sheena ought to get together with Kenny Rodgers for another heartbreak session in his log cabin. She isn't quite as soppy as him, to give her her due, but it's an ordinary sort of song, and sounds like it was written by a computer. It'll probably do well with people who are pining and whining over faded holiday romances. (Jessi McGuire, Record Mirror, September 10, 1983)

I used to be a sucker for a good telephone song but the magic is gone. I've had enough of pop stars trying to get us to believe that they sit up all night waiting for the thing to ring when eny fule knos they're far too busy having their pictures taken at the Camden Palace. What we need is an injection of realism. I'm working on a few numbers. One's called "'I've Just Had My Bill For The First Quarter And I'm Sure There's Been A Mistake". It's off a concept album called "Why Do Trimphones Always Slide Off The Table?" I've got high hopes for the whole project. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, September 15, 1983)