Pet Shop Boys - Rent (Parlophone)

You can always rely on the Pet Shop Boys to write a good tune - even though half the time they (the tunes) vaguely sound as though they once belonged to someone else. This moody slice of tragi-disco with its swirly trumpets and ping-pong-y Kraftwerk type bits is possibly even more lump-in-throat making than the wondrous "It's A Sin". The LP version is possible more dark and brooding, and this has a weedy voice-over by Neil at the beginning, but this is more than made up for by a chorus of "I love you - you pay my rent". I still think they look a bit silly in all that squeaky rubber and leather they've been wearing lately but this is fabness itself. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

Black - Wonderful Life (A&M)

Aaaaaah (satisfied sigh). This is a wonderful record - sentimental without being slushy, and the most enjoyable song to whistle along to this fortnight. In fact Black have released quite a few wonderful records, it's just that until "Sweetest Smile", none of them were hits. This is a re-release of one of those earlier songs, and it's possibly even more poignant and swoonful than "Sweetest Smile" (though the one before that, the Bowie-esque "Everything's Coming Up Roses" was even better). It's heartening to see someone who a) isn't particularly handsome, b) has a spook-name (i.e. Colin Vearncombe), c) has no discernible "image" and d) writes slightly odd lyrics, get into the charts purely on the strength of their music, which in this case is very strong indeed. (Vici McDonald, Smash Hits, August 12, 1987)

The Lucy Show - Undone (A&M)

Guitars nip and chatter while a singer with the sleepy drawl of a British Jack Nicholson gets all sardonic about hanging out on the corner with his stinky friends. Not much of a song tune-wise, but the sound is dashingly gloomy. You can dance to it, you can call it "art" if you so wish - either way it's shimmeringly cool. Single Of The Fortnight. (Tom Hibbert, Smash Hits, November 6, 1985)

Kajagoogoo - The Lion's Mouth (EMI)

Well well well, what do we have here? It's my old mates the "Chappypoopoos". I suppose I could slag it off 'cause they gave me the boot or, on the other hand, I could be really nice just in case they review my next single. However, I've decided to be purely and simply honest: I bumped into Nick [Beggs] at the record company offices just before Xmas and he played it to me then. I left the building humming the chorus and generally reminiscing. Good luck, guys. Single Of The Fortnight. (Limahl, Smash Hits, February 16, 1984)

Thomas Dolby - I Scare Myself (Parlophone)

Thomas Dolby, man or maniac? Nobody's been able to make up their minds about this oddball. Having Magnus Pyke in an early video did nothing to help his cause, but the superb 'Hyperactive' did much to lay the ghost. 'I Scare Myself' is a real gem. Snazzy and light, it swings along with Tom tinkling away on piano. This should give him a really big hit at last - and there's not a single synth in sight. (Paul Bursche, No 1, March 24, 1984)

Master Dolby leaves the lab, stops his quest for the perfect eighties synthesis of man and machine (so far a no-score draw), and delivers his most warming 45 to date. To do so he's made a nearly inch perfect copy of the Dan Hicks original, but nevertheless "I Scare Myself" is so hot with swooning acoustic guitars and delicately muted brass that I'll forgive him for that. (Jim Reid, Record Mirror, March 24, 1984)

Clipped off his fine album The Flat Earth, this is something RATHER special. Written by the extremely eccentric songwriter Dan Hicks (ideal for Tom really), it's a stunning song performed with delicate restraint and sung in a way that brings tears to the eyes of grown men (and women). Touches of The Wild West and today's technology have created a haunting atmosphere. Fab. Single of the fortnight. (Ian Birch, Smash Hits, March 29, 1984)

Culture Club - The War Song (Virgin)

George has come to the profound conclusion that both war and people are stupid, and since he delivers the message in just about every language except Lithuanian and Swahili, he obviously feels it's important. Still, trite lyrics aside, the song's so infernally catchy that I've been whistling it all weekend (although I can't quite manage the "Aaieewuuurigh!!!' in the middle yet), and it's got to be Single Of The Fortnight. Whether I'll feel quite the same when everyone from the neighbour's budgie to the weird bloke downstairs is whistling it too's another matter, of course. Oh well, I can't wait to see the video. (Vici MacDonald, Smash Hits, September 27, 1984)

There's been so much intellectualising about war – obscure allegories, murky metaphor – plenty of space left for clever clogs to say "War is alright if .. " So George lays it on the line, from his position a mass medium, mass appeal group: "War is stupid and people are stupid and love means nothing in some strange quarters." Embraced by a tune that sweetens the message without weakening it, this is the ultimate Culture Club song. We need all cultures in that club learning to say 'No'. Single of the week. (Martin Townsend, No 1, September 29, 1984)

"War is stupid", George reveals. Lyrics of true insight there. And a tune that succinctly combines all their previous singles, and a poster with the 12-inch, and an even happier bank manager. (Paul Sexton, Record Mirror, September 29, 1984)

The Jesus And Mary Chain - Never Understand (Blanco Y Negro)

If my name was Gallup this one would shoot through the Top 40 like a laser gun through lard. Over a sublime racket of whistling guitars bobs a breezy melody curiously reminiscent of The Beach Boys. Its simplicity and individuality amid countless, cowardly records in the review pile striving to sound like each other is nothing short of exhilarating. Good vibrations. Single Of The Fortnight. (Andy Kershaw, Smash Hits, February 28, 1985)

The Jesus & Mary Chain re-invent the Ramones via the Beach Boys, a buzzsaw factory and several low-flying aircraft. It's a strangely compulsive record, but though it is hardly a classic - this is being championed by sections of the music press as the punk revival landmark of the century. Magic messiahs? Me thinks not. (Dylan Jones, Record Mirror, February 23, 1985)

The Ramones - Bonzo Goes To Bitburg (Beggars Banquet)

Ah, they don't make records like this anymore - unless, of course, "they" are The Ramones who continue to thrash away in their leaky jeans and unhygienic sneakers as if it were still 1976. Perhaps no one bothered to tell them the news that "punk's dead" - and thank goodness for that, because this topical assault on R. Reagan's recent German blunderings reminds one that a song that sounds like it was recorded by road drills in a tub of yoghurt can still be genuinely exciting. I love this for its "blistering-chainsaw" qualities, its dumb attempts at "na-na-na" harmonies, and, most of all, for Joey Ramone's voice which sounds more like a nasty accident in a hamburger factory than ever. Joint Single Of The Fortnight. (Tom Hibbert, Smash Hits, July 3, 1985)

The lovable pin-heads return with some more typical Ramones thrash. Untouched completely by anything that has happened in the world for the past 10 years, the Ramones go their own sweet way re-recording the same song time after time but still sounding fresh and happy. Old friends, dear friends, what a sad and trivial place the world would be without them. (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, June 29, 1985)

Roman Holliday - Don't Try To Stop It (Jive)

George: My single of the week. It was a really pleasant surprise putting it on. Very lively, a good summer record and, with the right breaks, it should be a big hit. Well done. Andrew: The chorus has a really good hook and they've captured a bouncy uptempo beat which is just right for the summer. It sounds like a sophisticated JoBoxers. My favourite single of this bunch. (Wham!, Smash Hits, June 23, 1983)

The Icicle Works - Hollow Horse (Beggars Banquet)

Another splendid track from Liverpool's The Icicle Works. Neither "Birds Fly (A Whisper To A Scream)" nor "Love Is A Wonderful Colour" got the Top Ten placings they deserved. I was praying this wasn't going to be a disappointment and it's not. Distinctive, inventive and fresh sounding. Fingers crossed for a huge hit and definitely Single Of The Fortnight. (DJ Mike Read, Smash Hits, October 11, 1984)

I've always thought The Icicle Works tried a bit too much. Not so here, "Hollow Horse" is a roistering exercise in the big guitar coupled with a classic example of the 'northern' rock voice - epic spilling of emotion over a dirty old long mac. I'm surprised, I really like it.(Jim Reid, Record Mirror, October 6, 1984)

INXS - The One Thing (Mercury)

Listening to this makes you realise how few new groups have any simple old fashioned energy. This is not the greatest song in the world but INXS go for it as if it were their one and only chance of making a record, selling it with enormous zest and lots of concise instrumental fills (there's even a guitar riff in there, but I wouldn't spread it about). "The One Thing" doesn't really sound like anyone else at all, which is recommendation enough these days. Single Of The Fortnight. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, September 15, 1983)

Anne Clark - Hope Road (10)

It pays to be conscientious, pop tarts. Hidden away amidst all the good, bad and just plain average records which crowd the Singles Box every fortnight, there is always one unexpected gem which stands high above the crowd. And this is it! Over a simple but effective backing track of vaguely melodic electronic "oohs" and "aahs" (sort of Laurie Anderson meets OMD), Anne Clark recites her sorry tale of how she met this nice, interesting guy at a party, was invited to dinner in a faraway town and turned up only to find, despite following instructions, that the address he gave her - Hope Road - just doesn't exist. Wail! A metaphor too, methinks, for politicians and, erm, the world around us. A few neatly cutting observations get slipped in too before Anne ends sadly with a warning to beware of unaccountably nice people because "there's no place called Hope Road". Sniff. A hit? Almost certainly not, but for making a record that dares to be different, that works on its own terms and doesn't try to sound like anybody else or as if it would sell its granny to be a hit - just this once, Anne Clark - come on down! - yours is Single Of The Fortnight. (Ian Cranna, Smash Hits, May 8, 1987)

Almost a very good little record this, as poor little Annie gets the run-around from a party acquaintance and decides to have nothing more to do with men. The sparse musical setting has a wonderfully hypnotic effect, but there are one or two outrageous bits of scanning and the odd struggle to match rhymes. In the end one has to conclude that Anne Clark gets a bit het up about not very much or all, if being given a bogus address at a party is the worst thing that happens to her, she obviously doesn't go to the parties that I do. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, May 9, 1987)

Limahl - Love In Your Eyes (Parlophone)

He's back. Back! With a moving imitation of a piece of pink tissue paper (i.e. his singing is gigantically wispy) and a completely weedy pop song. Hip hip hooray! "Love In Your Eyes" is, of course, awesomely exquisite: swoonsome, tunesome, frighteningly wholesome, covered in fluff and without an ounce of malice. Better even than "Never Ending Story", Limahl's last blub-soaked imperishable, it's a work of intense drippiness. "Sublime". "Soppy". Totally brilliant. Single Of The Fortnight. (Tom Hibbert, Smash Hits, April 23, 1986)

Note: The late, great Tom Hibbert was notorious for his sarcastic reviews, very much in evidence here. I was also saddened to read that he suffered from a debilitating medical condition for the last fourteen years of his life, and so wrote nothing from the age of 45. Such a shame.

Simple Minds - Waterfront (Virgin)

'Come in, come out of the rain. . .' and shelter in the company of the best record of the week. The Minds have always been masters at producing fragile yet muscular music and here the formula is repeated but with even more power. "Waterfront" is haunting, breathtaking, stunning, evocative and beautiful. And all at the same time. A glittering prize. (Paul Bursche, No 1, November 19, 1983)

Built round a shuddering backbeat shot through with guitar chords that will take your head off and overlaid with those haunting keyboard lines. "Waterfront" is remarkable even by Simple Minds' own high standards.Jim Kerr's vocal is one of rare beauty and measured passion. An iron fist in a velvet glove. Single Of The Fortnight. (Mark Steels, Smash Hits, November 10, 1983)

Simple Minds in personality crisis - Shock-horror probe! Scottish songsters suffering from acute Heavy-Metal-Syndrome! Millions mourn as Jim Kerr and his merry men try recreating the brilliant wall-of-sound of "Celebrate", but lose it somewhere in the mix. It's a definite grower though - just don't stand too close to the speaker. (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, November 19, 1983)

It's Immaterial - Space (Siren)

It's great to write a song about "Space" - it's an unusual subject and they've done it in a really novel way. It's almost sad at times - especially if you live in a built up city. The song's got that Talking Heads/David Byrne sound which I like. I think they're one of the best new English groups around because they've got intelligence and this is the best new song and the most original lyrics I've heard in a long time. (Gary Kemp, Smash Hits, October 8, 1986)

It's Immaterial never said they were going to conform to expectations and so the deliberately deadpan approach they adopt here is wilfulness personified. This is Itsy in funny peculiar and not funny ha ha mood, too slow and atmospheric to capitalise on "Driving" and never as charming as in "Ed's Funky Diner". Forgettable. 2/5 (Max Bell, No 1, October 18, 1986)

The Fall - Cruiser's Creek (Beggars Banquet)

Yet another riff that makes you wonder how the Monkees ever did without it, and reinforces the Fall as just extraordinary (in the humblest sense). Brix lets loose a stinging guitar stutter that, backed with a split splat drum and Mark's sock-in-mouth vocals, remains one of the most exciting, raw sounds around. Great stuff to annoy the neighbours with. The AA side 'LA' should be listened to as well - it's not a B-side. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, October 12, 1985)

Perhaps Mark Smith is bored by now with his "Last Angry Young Man" label. Here he delivers his story in an economic pulsator with an excellent guitar twist that you don't want to stop. And it doesn't. Single Of The Fortnight. (Paul King, Smash Hits, October 23, 1985)

Prince - Sign 'O' The Times (WEA)

In France a skinny man died of a big disease with a little name. By chance his girlfriend came across a needle and soon she did the same. . . Sign of the times. It was to be expected that the first Prince single from the album of the same name would be nothing like you expected. Stripped down, plain speaking, with no sign of loverswithholesintheirheads, 'Sign Of The Times' sees the little devil veering drastically, but surely, away yet again from his previous creation. (According to Sir Max Bell this resembles New Orleans group The Meters. Thanking you.) A major part of Prince's genius has always been to wiggle his finger one jump ahead of the pulse and with all the crack dance tracks beginning to emerge on both American coasts this tale of the times neatly trumps the lot. How jolly clever he is. (Paul Simper, No 1, March 7, 1987)

Astonishing. His Royal Pervness suddenly decides to give up singing about the joys of senseless bonking and instead turns his attention to the various social evils of life on Planet Earth in 1987. Everything from AIDS to Star Wars comes under the microscope and it's all accompanied by a typically infectious melody. If anybody else tried to turn such a cautionary tale into a brilliant single, they would undoubtedly end up sounding like Billy Bragg. Prince does it with effortless grace and ends up sounding like the voice of, em, God. Life just isn't fair. Single Of The Fortnight. (Barry McIlheney, Smash Hits, March 11, 1987)

David Bowie - Time Will Crawl (EMI America)

It certainly does on this offering. Bowie's singles used to be events, now they're just perfunctory. It seems that I've heard the ideas and themes on this one at least six times before. How anonymous he's sounding today. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, June 27, 1987)

For every brilliant song David Bowie has ever written (quite a few, really) there have been plenty of useless ones and, over the last few years, the proportion of useless ones has been growing at a quite alarming rate. But this is a good old-fashioned Bowie song – sounding rather like something off his 1973 LP Aladdin Sane – with an eerie, yearning tune and lyrics all about the passing of time. It's a bit difficult to work out what he's singing, actually -- it sounds like "Tim will crawl to the 21st century loos", which can't be right – but then his songwords are always far more evocative if you only half-listen to them and make up lots of "deep" meanings for yourself anyway. This is a v. wonderful record and its just a pity the rest of his ropy old Never Let Me Down album isn't up to the same high standard. Single Of The Fortnight. (Vici MacDonald, Smash Hits, June 3, 1987)

The Kane Gang - Closest Thing To Heaven (Kitchenware)

This isn't bad. Actually, it's a good song. Like The Detroit Emeralds which must make it Single Of The Fortnight. It seduces you more and more as the song builds. Ironically, the last single I review is the best. The first twenty seconds show no hint of what's to come. It has that magic that the Lionel Richie pile doesn't come near. Smooth as silk. The only record I'd go out and buy. (John Taylor [Duran Duran], Smash Hits, June 21, 1984)

Eurythmics - Here Comes The Rain Again (RCA)

Dave 'n' Annie just can't put a foot wrong. They release a happy calypso track in bleak mid-winter and watch it go Top Ten. Now they're back to the more familiar moody style that they do so brilliantly. The gorgeous slow melody is the ideal vehicle for Ms Lennox's effortlessly pure voice. It's mournful, but never depressing - add to their combined talents the string section of the British Philharmonic Orchestra and you've got the week's classiest single. (Karen Swayne, No 1, January 14, 1984)

If Eurythmics think they're making a run-of-the-mill record, they don't panic. They simply add 'the squint factor'. It turns an everyday event into a Royal Variety Performance. The secret of 'squint' lies in dodging your expectations. When you're waiting for a smart sheen, you get a tinny glitter. Just like that African guitar twang on "Right By Your Side". On this one it's the strings that add the seasoning. They scrape and scamper behind the melody, nudging Annie's wonderful vocal along. Like all Eurythmics' songs, it takes several plays to sink in but when it takes hold, you'll love the feeling. Single Of The Fortnight. (Ian Birch, Smash Hits, January 5, 1984)

As usual, very classy. I liked 'em when they were the Tourists and I like 'em now. Went to see 'em at the Odeon. I used to prefer the mini-skirt to the Oxford bags mind you, but that just shows you what a hidebound philistine old reactionary I am. (Lemmy [Motorhead], Record Mirror, January 14, 1984)