Pseudo Echo - Living In A Dream (RCA)

Who, of sane mind, could ever forgive Pseudo Echo for a) having such a stupid name, b) brutally murdering that wonderful Lipps Inc. classic "Funky Town" and c) being responsible for this mundane electro-drone about walls falling all over them(!)? Not me anyway. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

Five Star - Strong As Steel (RCA)

Having fought off the gum diseases induced by the Crunchie [British chocolate bar] frenzy on the last tour, those bad ass muthers Five Star are back with a Wacko Jacko style ballad. And just like Wacko singing (and lying) about how 'Bad' he is, squeaky clean Five Star's smouldering lurve song is just as laughable; a bit like the Pope rapping along to 'She's On It'. (Ian Dickson, Record Mirror, October 10, 1987)

Now here's a funny thing. This sounds exactly like Five Star pop discs always do but also uncannily like "Man In The Mirror" from Michael Jackson's Bad LP - except it's not quite as good - which proves, as they can't possibly have copied it, that the Pearson family are plugged into the same cosmic bio-rhythms as their idol Wacko Jacko. Quintuple spook! Whatever next, viewers? Perhaps Doris and Stedman and the rest will start having plastic surgery to look like Michael and then they'll buy a chimp and maybe a snake and, heavens, where will it all end? (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

The Write Stuff: While the A side was written by famous songwriter for hire Diane Warren, the B side "The Man" featured the vocals of one Buster Pearson, Five Star's manager (and father, of course).

The Blow Monkeys - Out With Her (RCA)

What an old cynic Dr Robert is. Everyone else is falling over themselves with the joys of being in love, and here he is analysing the consequences. Should his heart rule his head or vice versa? Judging by all the sighing and gasping he's up to on this slowie, it sounds like love doesn't really come into it at all. Not when you can survive on lust. Classy all the same. (Jane Wilkes, Record Mirror, March 21, 1987)

Hark! What a cheeky monkey Dr Robert is. Hear him wake up, yawn, stretch and then launch into the heaviest breathing I've heard this side of Donna Summer. Highly provocative, and if that alone doesn't make this song appealing, the sultry, smoothy blend of piano and glistening percussion just might. Most relaxing, I must say. (Ro Newton, Smash Hits, March 25, 1987)

Bucks Fizz - You And Your Heart So Blue (RCA)

I must say I always detested Bucks Fizz. Those medallion men! And those girls! Yucksville. Their records have always exemplified the worst traits of British pop kitsche. This is no exception. Now, it seems, they can't stand each others' guts either. What colour law suit do you want! (Max Bell, No 1, June 22, 1985)

Bucks Fizz have again proved that fact is always better than fiction, having read The Sun last week. Could the Dallas scriptwriters have made up a better tale of sex and high flying wheeling and dealing? Could The Godfather makers have made up a gorier tale of alleged 'family' treachery,and squalid break ups? This release is a spirited version of the sort of thing Smokie used to knock out in their sleep. It's not a patch on the B-side - "Now Those Days Are Gone" - a quality song and more than a little apt to boot. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, June 22, 1985)

Hot House - The Way We Walk (RCA)

Lacking in subject matter, my son. Not enough information about the position of the upper body on this one. Still, walking is an instinctive thing, except for Derrick. Nice to hear a prominent Joanna having its ivories tinkled. Good brassy bits. They'll dig it in clubland. (Gilbert*, No 1, August 15, 1987)

Trivia: Hot House featured Heather Small, who would later go on to achieve great success with M People and as a solo singer.

The Blow Monkeys - Atomic Lullaby (RCA)

More than obvious schmaltzy chords of the effort from the promising Blow Monkeys. Let's leave boring MOR to Spandau, eh lads? The obligatory sax wails on like Spiney with bad guts. Originality quota 2/10. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, September 22, 1984)

Friends have been raving about this band to me, and with good reason. The Blow Monkeys (don't be put off by the name) have come up with the week's best, and most unusual single. Opening with moody sax, "Atomic Lullaby" builds to a final crescendo with a style all of its own. The subdued but distinctive vocal fits somewhere between Lloyd Cole and Morrissey. The singer is called Dr Robert and he has a sinister charm that is hard to ignore. Try to hear it. (Karen Swayne, No 1, September 22, 1984)

The Blow Monkeys - The Man From Russia (RCA)

Most Intriguing Title Of The Fortnight, made even more curious by the fact that it's impossible to work out what the song's about. Dreamy vocals, real 'live' drums and a brass section add up to an optimistic sound. I can imagine this being covered by Shirley Bassey or Liza Minnelli. (Linda Duff, Smash Hits, July 5, 1984)

Eurythmics - This Is The House (RCA)

The sooner the Eurythmics realise that a sharp song is worth a million clever effects, the sooner they'll stop being an 'interesting' and start being a 'good' band. This crochets obscure words with slices from Bowie and Grace Jones. Interested? Didn't think so. (Ian Birch, Smash Hits, April 15, 1982)

H2O - Just Outside Of Heaven (RCA)

This makes Kajagoogoo sound classy. Watery synths and stunningly intelligent lyrics(?) build up for a real barnstorming crescendo, I was really moved, I must say. And my word, aren't they a good-looking bunch for sure. They remind me of New Musik and I'm sure the singer must want to be in OMD very badly. (Peter Martin, Smash Hits, August 4, 1983)

Anonymous poppyrock. I suggest you heed the news bulletins and use as little H2O as possible. (Paul Simper, No 1, July 23, 1983)

H2googoo look like keeping their feet under the table for a long time. Another deceptive song with the initial impact of a wet flannel, before those soft musical rumblings begin to take hold. Absolutely no escape. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, July 23, 1983)

Bucks Fizz - My Camera Never Lies (RCA)

Don't this lot ever have any new ideas? Same old oompah-oompah rhythm, clean wholesome vocals and utterly pathetic lyrics: 'My camera never lies any more/Because there's nothing worth lying for'. Too right, so here's the truth: sorry Fizz fans, this is horrible. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, April 1, 1982)

JoBoxers - Johnny Friendly (RCA)

Film-buffs will know Johnny Friendly as the corrupt union boss in On The Waterfront, a dockland movie close to the Boxers' hearts. Unfortunately their tribute to Mr. Friendly doesn't quite come off. It tells a story alright and Dig has a great time delivering some of Marlon Brando's lines but it isn't half the song that "Just Got Lucky" was. I'll say no more - nasty things happen to people who badmouth Johnny .. . (Sunie, No 1, August 6, 1983)

A tug-boat roars in and that can only mean one thing ... the Tetley Teafolk are down on the waterfront. Dig tells the sad tale of Johnny - "he ain't a man to love" - over a funked-up alley cat backing. Not as infectious as "Lucky" but just as catchy in a harder sense. Looks like three in a row. (Peter Martin, Smash Hits, August 4, 1983)

After two barnstorming singles the Bowery Boys/Tetley Tea folk change the boxerbeat to a swing. But the swing is so leaden that they'll lose this round on a technical knock out. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, August 6, 1983)

Bow Wow Wow - Go Wild In The Country (RCA)

The theme tune for the band's latest "leisure concept". No more skates and technology: it's all romping in pastures, hunting, fishing and generally making A Very Loud Noise. Not wearing a lot of clothes, either. This won't sell as it's just too cluttered to sound convincing on the radio. Shame. (Mark Ellen, Smash Hits, January 21, 1982)

Eurythmics - Who's That Girl? (RCA)

If you'd fed the last two Eurythmics hits into a computer and asked for a follow-up, this is what you'd get. It doesn't stray an inch from the blueprint. It's cold and calculated. In a way, though, that is what we love about so much British pop. When you buy a record by ABC, Wham, Yazoo, Eurythmics, you know that every detail, every nuance has been weighed to perfection. It's the best. "Who's That Girl?" expands Annie Lennox's twin images: the hard, icy lover and, in the video, the challenger of sexual roles. But that's all it is: image. And in the great game of pop manipulation The Eurythmics currently lead the field. (Phil McNeill, No 1, July 2, 1983)

Who's that bloke, is what most folk'll wonder when they clock Annie's latest look. Not that immediate but a strong if gloomy song and a flawless (though slightly dated) production. Already my favourite Eurythmics single. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, July 7, 1983)

JoBoxers - Is This Really The First Time? (RCA)

Remember that Boxer Beat? You could be forgiven for nearly forgetting it; Dig and the gang have been off the block so long they were in danger of being not last year's thing but the year before that's. Luckily for them no one else stepped into their shoes. The Boxers were one of our better modern R&B groups and this comeback has all the customised hard jiving kick that makes them so compelling. Instantly, naturally wonderful. (Max Bell, No 1, March 30, 1985)

The JoBoxers, who brought you "Boxerbeat" and all the rest of them, have bounced back with a new image - Edwardian-style. It suits them and the record is equally impressive, if just a little repetitious. (Marshall O'Leary, Smash Hits, March 14, 1985)

Dolly Parton - Here You Come Again (RCA)

There's a line in this that goes 'better than a body has a right to be', and folding out the full colour poster sleeve you get a good demonstration. It really is a wonderful song, you can't really like it but you do. There's a couple of Barry Manilow songs that are such good songs in terms of structure and melody, and this is one of them. I'd buy it for the poster meself, it's got class. We were trying to get her to cover one of our songs, we wanted her to do a country version of "Karma", but whether she'll get round to it I don't know. It'd be great. (Roy Hay [Culture Club], Record Mirror, March 17, 1984)

A timely re-release of this hit from '77, as Dolly popped up on TV only last Saturday in the excellent 9 To 5. There's something remarkably attractive about Dolly's confident Tennessee voice and this is as good a time to get to know it as any. (Paul Simper, No 1, March 17, 1984)

Cindy & The Saffrons - Terry (RCA)

If Terry were still alive, perhaps he could rev up the old bike and run down those responsible for this faithful remake of Twinkle's moment of glory. Nearly 20 years later and they still manage to leave out any irony. (Mark Cooper, Record Mirror, April 16, 1983)

You'll know this '60s classic; it's all about a guy called Terry who drives off in a huff on his motorbike and snuffs it, then hangs around the gates of heaven for the girl that put him there in the first place. Cindy herself is better known as Joanne Whalley, and has done much on TV, stage and screen. Sung in true '60s style, but I wonder if this song is just too familiar to storm the charts. (Debbi Voller, No 1, May 14, 1983)

JoBoxers - Jealous Love/She's Got Sex (RCA)

"She's Got Sex" is a seedy tale of the JoBoxers' ideal woman. The usual foot stompin' has been replaced by a snappy toe tappin' beat and it's easily their worst single yet. (Peter Martin, Smash Hits, October 27, 1983)

This group said right from the beginning that they'd be bringing out singles that were completely different from each other, and this double A-side proves they weren't joking. What you - the record buying public - will make of 'Jealous Love', could go either way. It's a thumping good ballad with Dig's voice at its finest, but no way can they be trying to be commercial. 'She's Got Sex' is about a girl who wants 'it' all the time, but doubtless the BBC will play none of 'that' on their precious airwaves! (Debbi Voller, No 1, October 29, 1983)

Their Braces are getting frayed and their boots are just beginning to leak. JoBoxers slide off the waterfront as the charts become increasingly apathetic. A slowie with a powerful chorus but I just can't help feeling that Billy Joel could have done this revamp a lot better. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, October 29, 1983)

The Blow Monkeys - It Doesn't Have To Be This Way (RCA)

Dr Robert can barely be forgiven for desecrating the memory of "Brief Encounter" on father week's The Tube, and can be forgiven even less for soiling my ears with this Kid Creole-meets-the-Style Council-and-produces-the-aural-equivalent-of-rubber-coated-marshmallows. Go boil your brains, young man, and come back when you've stopped trying to be either Marc Bolan or a venerable Sixties soul legend (preferably deceased). (Nancy Culp, Record Mirror, January 31, 1987)

Very reminiscent of "Digging Your Scene" - and this is not a bad thing. The irrepressible and slightly weird Dr Robert has once again come up with the goods. Jaunty, jangly, jazzy and more besides. Slowly this group is carving a niche for itself. I reckon we best get used to them as they intend to be around for a while. (Pat Thomas, No 1, January 31, 1987)

Note: Prophetic words from Pat. Thirty years later, The Monkeys are still going strong.

Strasse - A Stairway To You (RCA)

Produced by the mighty Midge Ure, this is very rock 'n' roll despite the synth snaps and pretty boy veneer. It's also very modern despite being a rock song - which is just saying the same the thing backwards, but it fills a gap when you can't think of anything else. (Simon Tebbutt, Record Mirror, May 14, 1983)

Freeze Frame - Today, Tomorrow (RCA)

Hmmm. Just been doing a bit of totting up here only to arrive at the frightening discovery that if you count all the people who have been in Liverpool bands you arrive at a figure not far off the population of China. Freeze Frame continue on from China Crisis, Lotus Eaters, etc. But though this is a sweet little song, past experience shows the public reluctant to latch on to nice, melodic rock like this. Ask the Lotus Eaters or Pale Fountains. Full marks, though, for use of a comma in the title. (Paul Bursche, No 1, August 24, 1985)