Meat Loaf - Nowhere Fast (Arista)

Bad news for heavy metal fans this week because Meatloaf's gone all synthesisery and computerish. His latest single sounds about as heavy as Depeche Mode used to sound about 10 years ago. On the sleeve there's this competition and the prize is a complete and utter bummer right so don't enter it. The prize is a day on the road with Meatloaf and you get to eat a load of motorway food and get hassled by the pigs. Do not on any account enter this competition, it'll be really bad karma for you. (neil [Nigel Planer], Record Mirror, December 1, 1984)

Still tearing down that highway on the verge of a massive coronary, Mr Loaf's all-American biker music never fails to engage his humour. Loud and brash and full of endearing self parody, this single will surely find itself eclipsed by the rumoured follow up where Meat goes hip hop and break dances through the rock stadia of the American Mid-West. Wild! (Lesley White, Smash Hits, December 6, 1984)

Note: even in the bizarre world of pop, the idea of an actor (Nigel Planer) portraying a character (The Young Ones' hippy neil) in order to write manic and rambling reviews of singles by other artists, including future actor Meatloaf, seems very surreal indeed. This was however, shortly after the 'character' scored a Top Five hit with "Hole In My Shoe".