Suze De Marchi - Big Wednesday (EMI)

This girl's got a voice, and she's sickeningly beautiful too. Her debut single a while back was a good 'un, but didn't catch on. Perhaps this one will. Suze is Australian and her song hops along like a bunch of roos in the bush. It's a happy, summer sound written by Suze and Simon Climie - and he was co-writer of the George and Aretha monster smash - nice one possums! (Debbi Voller, No 1, July 25, 1987)

Adam And The Ants - Goody Two Shoes (CBS)

Mr Ant goes rockabilly, suggests we wear a little make-up, exhorts us not to smoke and drink, namechecks soul maestro Al Green for some reason, and - frankly - bores the highwayman's breeches off me. Dull. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, May 13, 1982)

Bonk! - I'm Not Unusual (Ensign)

You know what time of year it is when the Singles Page starts filling up with David Bowie impersonators called Bonk: wingeing about how their girlfriends think they're a bit kooky but that's really because they don't understand them. His real name's probably Lance or Norman or something. [Actually, it's Barry] (Ian Birch, Smash Hits, January 6, 1983)

The Blow Monkeys - Atomic Lullaby (RCA)

More than obvious schmaltzy chords of the effort from the promising Blow Monkeys. Let's leave boring MOR to Spandau, eh lads? The obligatory sax wails on like Spiney with bad guts. Originality quota 2/10. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, September 22, 1984)

Friends have been raving about this band to me, and with good reason. The Blow Monkeys (don't be put off by the name) have come up with the week's best, and most unusual single. Opening with moody sax, "Atomic Lullaby" builds to a final crescendo with a style all of its own. The subdued but distinctive vocal fits somewhere between Lloyd Cole and Morrissey. The singer is called Dr Robert and he has a sinister charm that is hard to ignore. Try to hear it. (Karen Swayne, No 1, September 22, 1984)

XTC - No Thugs In Our House (Virgin)

In which two parents try to convince a young constable that their son is not a nasty, vicious hooligan. A little heavy for my tastes, and it does go on a bit. Winner of the Silly Packaging of the Week Award, though, for a sleeve which converts into a toy theatre! How will they try and sell them to us next? I shudder to think. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, May 13, 1982)

Japan - Cantonese Boy (Virgin)

A good song, but the fourth track off Tin Drum to become a single, and this can't really be counted as much more than a stop-gap measure until the boys in rouge re-unite and pen something new. The B-side includes the humdrum instrumental entitled "The Experience of Swimming". (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, May 13, 1982)

New Order - Temptation (Factory)

I can spot a New Order single a mile off. Just keep an eye out for an expensive-looking sleeve that doesn't say New Order anywhere on it and you're halfway there. (We were thinking of doing a New Order poster magazine at one time - it was going to be baked inside a cake and only available to residents of The Channel Islands, but it never came together . . .) Anyway, this is a change for the better; animated, perky even. Spring would seem to be in the Mancunian air because this is that rarest of items, a New Orders love song, featuring the lines 'up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground' and other phrases which could be said to express happiness. With my own ears I heard it. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, May 27, 1982)

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Fireworks (Polydor)

Starts with an orchestra tuning up and ends with the sound of some fairly expensive rockets going off. In between you get the usual swirling Siouxsie sound, long on repetition but short on tune, eminently suitable for haunting houses etc. Probably recorded in a bell tower. Quite likeable really. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, May 27, 1982)

Virginia Astley - Love's A Lonely Place To Be (Why Fi)

A sad tale of love grown old with a watercolour vocal from Miss Astley and a pretty arrangement of classical tinge. One for Mary Hopkin lovers. (Mark Cooper, Record Mirror, January 22, 1983)

A Ravishing Beauty indulges in more than a modicum of the pretty-pretties. But tinkling bells and a twinkling belle do not a substantial pop record make! (Fred Dellar, Smash Hits, February 3, 1983)

Toyah - Brave New World (Safari)

What can I say? She seems such a nice girl when she's on the box or talking in these pages. You can't help but admire her energy and utter professionalism. But as soon as she sings I get this awful feeling that she's somehow, er, exaggerating. All her songs have to be about some grand matter and sung with talent competition gusto. Knock 'em in the aisles, sock 'em in the back row of the balcony, grab 'em and shake 'em. My first instinct is to duck. That said, this is relatively restrained and should get on fewer nerves than the likes of "It's A Mystery". (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, May 27, 1982)

Echo And The Bunnymen - The Back Of Love (Korova)

There was a time when the suggestion that The Bunnymen might actually have a hit would have been greeted with snorts of derision. Nowadays I'm not so sure. Mac sounds like he's fed up of loitering in the backwaters of hipness and brings forth an impassioned vocal that complements the urgent guitars and thundering drums of his colleagues. Cutting loose and cutting deep as well. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, May 27, 1982)

UB40 - Love Is All Is All Right (DEP International)

Another neatly-wrapped parcel of political wisdom, delivered with the usual adenoidal preachiness, this makes its way at snail's pace towards the obligatory timid dub section. Why anyone should buy this rather than a Bob Marley, Burning Spear or Aswad record is entirely beyond me and you can write all the angry letters you like, I still won't understand. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, May 27, 1982)

Classix Nouveaux - Because You're Young (Liberty)

Bryan Ferry has a lot to answer for. If it hadn't been for early Roxy Music then half the young singers in the country wouldn't feel free to deliver songs from behind clenched teeth. Sal is much smitten with this technique; his Adam's Apple travels up and down like a lift operator but the mouth is never actually open. Consequently he can render a fairly healthy song like this one annoyingly affected. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, May 27, 1982)

Suzanne Vega - Tom's Diner (A&M)

Hmm, not sure if it's a good idea to promote an artist by putting out acapella songs about cafes on 112th Street and Broadway in Britain just yet. If you like Vega, and I do in measured doses, then you'll be able to pretend to enjoy this without dying of terminal embarrassment but otherwise it defines twee in naked single format. While we're on the subject of new folk, and we're not, Jennifer Warnes' version of Leonard Cohen's 'First We Take Manhattan' (reviewed last week) is tremendous, as Mike Gatting would say. By comparison this is like doing the quick crossword in the Evening Standard. Not very stimulating. (Max Bell, No 1, July 18, 1987)

T: I can't believe she's released this, I mean it's such an odd choice.
A: Yeah, I agree, I like Suzanne Vega but this one doesn't do her a lot of favours.
J: What is she playing at? Halfway through I thought nothing was going to happen - and I was right!
(All About Eve, Record Mirror, July 18, 1987)

Culture Club - White Boy (Virgin)

The kind of image-heavy build-up that Boy George and Culture Club have had, lead me to expect just another all-trousers-and-no-action combo (well, all dresses actually, given George's taste in clothes). I'm surprised, therefore to find this an enjoyable helping of well-produced white soul even though it can't keep it up past the halfway mark on the 12". A question is prompted however: how much white funk would sell without all the make-up, gold suits etc? (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, May 13, 1982)

Note: Dave Rimmer would continue to delve into the themes of the sound and style of "new romantic" pop in his books Like Punk Never Happened and The Look.

 

Nick Kamen - Loving You Is Sweeter Than Ever (WEA)

I don't know about you, but I always preferred the bloke in the bath in those Levi's ads. Much less obvious than Mr Kamen - but then the charts are full of 'obvious' acts at the moment and Nick fits into this as perfectly as those dinky little boxer shorts of his. Making use of Spandau Ballet's one sax solo, it's soft disco that reminds you of a million other tacky dance greats. Pre-packaged for party time! As stylish as the man who's singing it. And take that as you will. (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, February 21, 1987)

I hated his last one but I heard it so often it sort of grew on me. Here he's covered a classic song (originally done by legendary Motown soul act The Four Tops) and killed it. His voice is really dodgy. I don't think models should try and be singers. Let's face it, he's made it just 'cos he's got a pretty face. My dad's mate is a really brilliant singer and he's been trying for years to get a record contract and he can't get one. I think it's unfair. But the charts are all about novelty really ain't they? I mean, I think it's out of order that records by the EastEnders lot get to Number One. Mind you I can't talk! The Grange Hill records I sang on were bloody awful. I don't know how they got into the charts either. Makes you wonder dunnit? (Lee MacDonald, No 1, February 21, 1987)

Pete Wylie - If I Love You (Siren)

Pete Wylie can be a contrary son of a gun on occasions: "If I Love You" isn't one of them. After the poor showing of "Diamond Girl" he returns to the more straightforward melodic pitch of "Sinful" with a considered semi ballad that starts off sounding like Freddie Mercury and then gravitates more towards a modern street wise Bob Dylan. Wylie's problem, if that's the way you look at it, is that he isn't firmly established enough in the public ear and eye to guarantee success with his slightly maverick songs. (Max Bell, No 1, July 18, 1987)

The Blow Monkeys - The Man From Russia (RCA)

Most Intriguing Title Of The Fortnight, made even more curious by the fact that it's impossible to work out what the song's about. Dreamy vocals, real 'live' drums and a brass section add up to an optimistic sound. I can imagine this being covered by Shirley Bassey or Liza Minnelli. (Linda Duff, Smash Hits, July 5, 1984)

Echo And The Bunnymen - The Cutter (Korova)

Dark vocals, dramatic chords and the kind of "Eastern" riff that sent Blancmange scurrying off to Egypt to film a video make this an intriguing but inscrutable single. "Spare us the cutter," implores the chorus. Certainly boys, but, er, what is it? (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, January 20, 1983)

Everything But The Girl - Mine (Blanco Y Negro)

The subtle use of percussion and smoky tones of Tracey Thorn's voice turn this into another late-night affair. A haunting tale of a girl left holding the baby, this, like all their records, turns me all moody. (Linda Duff, Smash Hits, July 5, 1984)

It's brilliant, isn't it? I like all this jazz based stuff that's happening now because its good for people to get into that level of musicianship and also make it commercial at the same time. It's getting away from quick, cheap and nasty. It's a great song and she's got a really good voice and phrases the words really well. This is one of the best singles I've heard for a long time and it should be a big hit if they've finished their exams and want to do a bit of promotion. Single Of The Week. (Andy Taylor [Duran Duran], Record Mirror, July 14, 1984)

Killing Joke - A New Day (EG)

If it actually had a start, a middle, and an end, we might have played it right through. The rhythm track's good, I like all the tom toms and stuff, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere. They'll probably beat us up now but I did like a couple of their records. We've got a roadie who's mad about Killing Joke but he won't go to any of their gigs because you get spat on. (Andy Taylor [Duran Duran], Record Mirror, July 14, 1984)

A very dated guitar riff announces the fact that we're not to expect anything new from Killing Joke in this latest release. They're apparently attempting to sound threatening and raw, but the band have always been a little guilty of being pantomime punks, and this just reinforces that pastiche. Killing Joke are about ten years too late, and the only people they threaten are the record company. (Muriel Gray, Smash Hits, July 19, 1984)

Boy George - Keep Me In Mind (Virgin)

He may be Nick Kamen's badge salesman, but he's also Boy George, my granny's favourite popstar (yes, and your budgie Joey's favourite too, gran), erm, sorry. She'll love it when she hears it. 'That trippy flute will make it a big hit all over the continent' she'll be telling me soon. And I'd have to agree. It's The Boy back to his best that wasn't "Everything I Own" nor "Ferry Aid"! Keep Boy George in mind? For as long as we can remember Marilyn (Monroe) to be sure. (Frank Gillespie, No 1, June 6, 1987)

King - Soul On My Boots (CBS)

This is really nice, the bass player's good. It could be a hit and they've got quite a good image. The old long hair's coming back, like mine, and it's important to have a good image without being too fabricated. The only thing is, they shouldn't wear Doctor Martens. I've never had a pair of them. (Andy Taylor [Duran Duran], Record Mirror, July 14, 1984)

Kajagoogoo - The Lion's Mouth (EMI)

Well well well, what do we have here? It's my old mates the "Chappypoopoos". I suppose I could slag it off 'cause they gave me the boot or, on the other hand, I could be really nice just in case they review my next single. However, I've decided to be purely and simply honest: I bumped into Nick [Beggs] at the record company offices just before Xmas and he played it to me then. I left the building humming the chorus and generally reminiscing. Good luck, guys. Single Of The Fortnight. (Limahl, Smash Hits, February 16, 1984)

Men Without Hats - Living In China (Statik)

Set the synthesiser controls for the heart of the sun, as Ivan and his band embark on a headlong dash through the perils of living in China. Too frantic to dance to and too frenetic to pick out a melody, "Living In China" is a track off their debut album Rhythm Of Youth which was recorded at least two years ago. Unfortunately it shows. (Frank Hopkinson, No 1, February 4, 1984)

According to their press handout this incredibly silly Canadian group featured Margaret Trudeau on their last single and the defecting Chinese tennis star Hu Na on this one. I reckon they could hire Jesus Christ, Lassie and the Dagenham Girl Pipers and still not get a hit. (Max Bell, No 1, June 18, 1983)

Debbie Harry - Rush Rush (Chrysalis)

Oh Debbie, oh Debbie, oh Debbie! What happened to those wonderful days when you were such a worldwide star and you had the world (including me) at your fingertips? The rawness that gave Debbie Harry her incredible appeal has been chucked out of the window for some electronic gimmickry. I prefer the old days. (Limahl, Smash Hits, February 16, 1984)

Psychedelic Furs - Angels Don't Cry (CBS)

A steady diet of filterless cigarettes is probably the cause of Richard Butler's gravel-pit groans, here interspersed with the sax lines that were so successful on "Heaven". Nowhere near as vibrant as "Pretty In Pink" this is strictly for US audiences crying out for a pit of pretension in rock instead of the home-grown capsleeves, denims and cowboy boots. (Frank Gillespie, No 1, January 17, 1987)

A fairly pensive ditty from the band now elevated to a much deserved level of stardom, courtesy of "Pretty In Pink". Difficult to elaborate really. Not one of the Furs' finest moments, and Richard Butler still sounds like his throat is locked in combat with a spoonful of gravel. Oh for another "Love My Way". (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, January 10, 1987)

The Toy Dolls - She Goes To Finos (Volume)

More Geordie jokiness from the intensely irritating Toy Dolls whose heavyhanded sense of humour and cod punk doesn't extend far beyond wearing out the welcome of banal rifling and silly voices. Anyone who likes this must have had their pilot light blown out at a very early age. (Max Bell, No 1, March 30, 1985)

Whitney Houston - Someone For Me (Arista)

Ms Houston's paper credentials are strong. Daughter of Cissy, cousin to Dionne Warwick, songs provided by Kashif, Jermaine Jackson, Narada Michael Walden, blah blah blah .. . Houston's big voice threatens to set Freddie Washington's semi-ballad alight and justify the brou-ha, but Jermaine's anonymous backing sends the listener into deep slumber. Don't give up your modelling engagements yet, Whitney, honey. (Max Bell, No 1, March 30, 1985)

Rockwell - He's A Cobra (Motown)

Rockwell has the sort of moustache Prince would die for. But "He's A Cobra" is the sort of song Prince wouldn't even give to Chick Huntsberry. Once upon a time someone was watching Rockwell. Now he's the victim of a snake-like charmer who's after his girl. Sad old world, ain't it? (Adrian Tierney-Jones, No 1, March 9, 1985)

King - Taste Of Your Tears (CBS)

The first three times I heard this piece of jangly '60s "la la la" wimpery, I had to check the sleeve to remind myself who the group was - it's that unmemorable. I think it's meant to be the song people wave their fraying "Paul King's a really hunky geezer" scarves around to at concerts, but quite frankly it would be more at home backing a jolly cornflake commercial. And yet this is the same group who were responsible for the magnificent "Love And Pride"! It's all very rum. (Vici MacDonald, Smash Hits, October 9, 1985)

The Nightingales - What A Carry On (Vindaloo)

Robert Lloyd and his merry men return to brighten the day, with their own quirky pop music. Pete and Andy's guitars criss-cross and crunch through an EP which emphasises the Nightingales' claim to the 'quiet men of indie music' crown. While others shout and stamp their leather feet, the Nightingales continue to make excellently eccentric music. Rob Lloyd's lyrics are there to be marvelled at as well. Carry on indeed. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, October 12, 1985)

Madonna - Angel (Sire)

Bar the horrible "Material Girl", all of Madonna's songs sound basically the same; trashy dance music with simple catchy tunes and disposable trite lyrics. "Angel" is absolutely typical and I love it. Enjoy it while you can - next year she's bound to go terribly adult, wearing long sequinned dresses and singing Lionel Richie ballads. (Chris Heath, Smash Hits, June 19, 1985)

Immaculate Fools - Nothing Means Nothing (A&M)

Undoubtedly the most brilliant title since Depeche Mode's "People Are People". And the record's no disappointment. Unoriginal, silly and really rather boring. Actually it reminds me a bit of The Psychedelic Furs, which is a good link into the next one .. (Paul Simper, No 1, October 13, 1984)

Howard Jones - Hide And Seek (WEA)

So many artists seem to do two fast ones and then a slowy. This is a big, soft, slow, slushy ballad that sounds incredibly like Barry Manilow at times. I don't like this as much as his uptempo stuff but it's still up to his usual standard. I would think a chart cert. (Limahl, Smash Hits, February 16, 1984)

The strength of the new solo stars like Paul Young and Howard Jones is that they're not over-keen to impress. "Hide And Seek" builds ever so slowly from a few gentle drumbeats and synth doodlings into a stately and controlled masterpiece which harks back to Japan's "Ghosts". No.1 in a month. (Martin Townsend, No 1, February 18, 1984)

The Icicle Works - All The Daughters (Beggars Banquet)

What fake fur are they flinging at our kids? More poppy brass for the scouse gardeners - sounding more like Scott Walker with Teardrop Explodes than ever. A good earnest performance that nods along at the back - but is far too dated to offer much in the way of newsworthy style. (Dylan Jones, Record Mirror, May 25, 1985)

Heaven 17 - Come Live With Me (Virgin)

George [Michael]: Some people said that Carol Kenyon's singing was only reason that "Temptation" got to Number Two. I would agree with them. This is not as original and it's really a return to the "clever" Heaven 17. Andrew [Ridgley]: Even more of a dirge than "Temptation". They've definitely gone way downhill since Penthouse And Pavement. That was energetic and lively; this is dross. (Wham!, Smash Hits, June 23, 1983)

What an extraordinary choice of single, After the sublime "Temptation" this begging letter from an older man to a younger girl seems far too reflective and lyrically top-heavy to strike a common chord. The B-side, a re-recorded "Let's All Make A Bomb", still sounds good. (Max Bell, No 1, June 18, 1983)

Despite the last hit, despite all the talk, here at last is the single that proves that Glenn and the boys aren't really in the big League at all. It's a fine idea (as usual) but one that gets lost entirely with some incredibly clumsy phrasing and unnecessary frippery. A miss is as good as a smile and Heaven 17 make me laugh. (John Shearlaw, Record Mirror, June 18, 1983)

New Order - The Perfect Kiss (Factory)

New Order emerged as the reincarnation of Joy Division after the suicide of singer Ian Curtis. Bald, boring history on a page, and most people already know it. But it's still important because it allows New Order to exercise a simple talent for understatement – the slight but beautiful 'chorus' to "The Perfect Kiss" – and allow that aura, the aura of tragedy, to vest it with significance. In the end what is basically a quite competently played and produced dance single becomes, like "Blue Monday", almost anthemic. (Martin Townsend, No 1, May 25, 1985)

Though New Order have created one of the largest walls of sound in current popular music, they still tend to grab hold of the most twee melody and milk it dry. This new ambidextrous love song looks at everything through a rose-tinted monocle and still fails to focus itself properly. Nevertheless, a good record that will get better with each listen. One hopes. (Dylan Jones, Record Mirror, May 25, 1985)

 

Midge Ure - That Certain Smile (Chrysalis)

I've always been fascinated by the paradox of Midge Ure. He makes grandiose, swirling high pop with allusions to quality and distinction, but its success is rooted more in hard graft perspiration than cool inspiration, He's a workman who tosses out nee-symphonic ditties with the industry and efficiency of a factory. The product is always functional, adequately pleasing in design and has built-in obsolescence. While most bands unconsciously aspire to this plateau, despite mouthing, to the contrary, Midge has turned this reliability into an art form. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, November 9, 1985)

It's the plush, grandiose pop sound of "If I Was" once again, only more so - which can mean only four things... 1) "That Certain Smile" will be a very big hit; 2) You'll be quite fond of it for a couple of days; 3) By the time it being played on the radio every six minutes you'll be sick to death of it; 4) If he does those stupid theatrical hand wiggles in the video again you'll scream and scream and hurl the TV set out of the window and it'll land on top of a police car and you'll be sent to prison for a very long time. Bad luck. (Tom Hibbert, Smash Hits, November 6, 1985)

Men At Work - It's A Mistake (Epic)

Everyone is being perfectly beastly to the Men from down under, and with their reliance on plagiarism it's easy to see why. This is another of their bloodless, jokey songs, this time about power-crazed generals pressing the button and killing us all. Ho ho. At least they don't sound like the Police here and so won't have another hit. A blessing in disguise really. (Max Bell, No 1, June 18, 1983)

Certainly is, if you're still going for the millionth rewrite of "Down Under" This time the cargo from Cargo is merely excess baggage. "This year's Police" are the real Police - Men At Work have just become redundant. (John Shearlaw, Record Mirror, June 18, 1983)