The Firm - Long Live The National (Stiff)

As an ex-bookmaker, I wouldn't give any price on this breaking the mouldy top forty. Ethno-cockney romp that is a non-runner next to their previous and seminal "Arthur Daley ('E's Alright"). Mind you, the B-Side "London Is The Biz" is the real works. Move over Chas 'N' Dave. (Jim Reid, Record Mirror, March 26, 1983)

Bit of a non-runner in usual Chas 'N' Dave style cashing in on the Big Race. (Kimberley Leston, March 31, 1983)

U2 - Two Hearts Beat As One (Island)

Fast, furious, very dense and carried out with de rigeur anger. I quite like the guitar that sounds as if it's being sawn in half but otherwise it lacks either high or low points. I know all about their massive Irish following but I can't help feeling U2 take themselves more seriously than anyone else does. (Kimberley Leston, Smash Hits, March 31, 1983)

A ferocious record savagely splintered by the very best rock guitar. Minimal. "Two Hearts" makes a brave attempt at being both aggressive and dancefloor, but unfortunately melodramatic vocals and pedestrian tub thumping snatch a last minute away goal for the opposition. I don't really like U2, but if they make a few more records in this vein, they may yet get to twist my arm. (Jim Reid, Record Mirror, March 26, 1983)

Girls Can't Help It - Baby Doll (Virgin)

This arrived with some soft-focus colour pics of three rather attractive models wearing very few clothes and sultry expressions. One of them was holding a teddy bear. Do I really have to tell you anything about the record? (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, October 28, 1982)

A frolicsome threesome to get grandad's pulse racing for the first time in 16 years. Shove Toto Coelo under the pillow, I'm sticking with these girls who bump 'n' grind while purring like kittens. The girl equivalent of Imagination. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, October 30, 1982)

On the cover it's got 'US Remix' - didn't work over here, so they're gonna try it on the poor yanks! (Steve Strange, Record Mirror, January 21, 1984)

Heaven 17 - Let Me Go (Virgin)

Clever and well-crafted as one might expect, and utterly unmemorable. A briefcase in the hand is considerably less attractive than a heart worn on the sleeve. More profitable too, these days - ask Boy George. (Sunie, Record Mirror, October 23, 1982)

On first play this doesn't get through, giving the impression that someone's read a book about dance music and decided to give it a whirl. But after a while a subtle insistence is revealed (this is beginning to sound like the very book), at its most potent on the twelve inch version where the interplay between Glenn Gregory's grave baritone and a nifty bass line starts to strike sparks. (Please ignore the above pretentious rubbish and give it a listen.) (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, October 28, 1982)

Blancmange - Living On The Ceiling (London)

Blancmange once more come up with an interesting rhythmic idea and throw it away on an indifferent song. (David Hepworth, Smash Hits, October 28, 1982)

Stunningly similar to Simple Minds circa "I Travel", which is to say it sounds a lot better than the eyeliner kids do today. Meaty, beaty and only slightly Gumbie-ish, but there's a 'bloody' in the first line that the radio people won't like much. (Sunie, Record Mirror, October 23, 1982)

Eurythmics - Thorn In My Side (RCA)

Not one of Dave and Annie's most classic numbers, but interestingly devoid of much of the usual musical gymnastics. This sounds more like an early Everly Brothers song with regimented acoustic guitar and a nice line in cliched pop lyrics. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, August 30, 1986)

The Gargoyles - Madmen From The Planet Sex (Reasonable)

Deep, probing lyrics and piercing wit; hard to listen to, but impossible to turn away from. Deeply disturbing and profound. (James Grant [Love & Money], Record Mirror, April 25, 1987)

Hipsway - The Broken Years (Mercury)

This, the first single by four blokes from Glasgow, is simply the best record I've heard for months. There's nothing startlingly new or original about it - it's just a really good rock/funk song (imagine a punchy mixture of The Kane Gang and The Smiths) sung brilliantly by the deep-voiced Graham Skinner. If all their songs are this excellent we're going to hear an awful lot more of them. Single Of The Fortnight. (Chris Heath, Smash Hits, June 19, 1985)

Come on down, the price is right. It's summer and time to play 'Great White Hope' for 'Big Money'. Hipsway, like Coronation Street's Bet Lynch, show their (soul) roots but make up for their inelegance by a brassy attitude. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, June 22, 1985)

Howard Jones - Life In One Day (WEA)

Howard and his synthesiser take a sprightly hop, skip and a jump through some fairly average pop and Howard's personal philosophy: Relax, enjoy life, be happy with what you've got, and don't wish the years away. Howard, you old hippy, you! (Maureen Rice, Smash Hits, June 5, 1985)

Yet another single culled from Howie's Dream Into Action. And it's a stinker. Howard Jones is one of that breed of pop star who imagines that if we all had flutes and held hands then the nasty things in life would vanish overnight. I've heard of escapism but this takes the proverbial biscuit. Howard Jones has as much worldly acumen as a rubber duck.
I'm supposed to say it has a nice tune but even that sticks in the gullet. (Max Bell, No 1, June 22, 1985)

In the cold light of day, Howard's philosophising makes the TV series Kung Fu sound like Satre. Usually, like Mary Poppins, he coats his medicine with a spoonful of energetic, addictive sugar. But despite the party atmosphere you feel he could have worked harder to disguise a poor song. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, June 22, 1985)

Katrina And The Waves - Do You Want Crying (Capitol)

Similar thrashing pop-rock to "Walking On Sunshine" but without its energy, this probably sounds better blaring from the radio of a convertible full of surfboards and nubile Californian teenagers than it does from my Walkman on a drizzly afternoon in the laundrette. (Kimberley Leston, Smash Hits, July 31, 1985)

The High Bees - Some Indulgence (Supreme)

A song that's been out for some time, but the fact that it's so far been ignored is a sin akin to eating the nut first on a Walnut Whip. Smooth, throaty vocals from Syuzen Backley, helped out with some easy backing from Aztec Camera's Malcolm Ross and Dave Ruffy. Sade without the expense account. (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, July 29, 1985)

Malcolm Ross and David Ruffy are on temporary leave from Aztec Camera. Together with singer Syuzen Buckley they've released a simple, charming piece of Scottish pop, like Orange Juice used to make. "The mouse dreams dreams which would terrify a cat," it says on the back sleeve. A bit enigmatic, what? (Adrian Jones, No 1, June 8, 1985)

Prince - Raspberry Beret (Warner)

The leader, and so far the only card carrying member of the new psychedelic revival is at it again. But if your first impression is to give this one a big raspberry, listen again.
This second single from the album that wasn't supposed to have any singles packs more punch than the last one. No instant appeal but could be a grower. (Pat Thomas, No 1, July 20, 1985)

The regal fruitcake returns with a chirpy tune about falling in love with someone who wears a beret. To my ears it's very much like the '60s-ish "Paisley Park", churning away to an addictive chorus in which Prince tells us about the said headgear. Of course paratroopers wear raspberry coloured berets, but I don't think we should jump to any conclusions there. (William Shaw, Smash Hits, July 17, 1985)

Sade - When Am I Going To Make A Living (Epic)

I used to think Sade was one big hype - even before she got a recording contract people were crooning how stupendous she was and her face was being splashed across the glossy mags. But then she made a record...
"Your Love Is King" and now "When Am I Going To Make A Living" have proved her promise. The current single is smooth, soulful and exceptionally honest. Truly this lady has class. (Frank Hopkinson, No 1, May 19, 1984)

A classic, and Sade makes singing (and writing) one sound positively effortless. A cheering song of optimism in the face of hardship with a chorus - 'We're hungry but we won't give in' - that should be sung from the rooftops. Only beaten to Single Of The Fortnight after a photo finish, I can tell you. As to the question of the title, I don't think you'll have any problems now, girl. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, May 10, 1984)

'From now on!' should be the answer to the question posed in the title. This powerful follow-up to their equally strong debut merits their establishment as a natural treasure. It basically carries the same immediately identifiable sound of Sade, though its feel is determined where "Your Love Is King" was romantic. It carries a stamp of quality all over it. (Pedro, Record Mirror, May 19, 1984)

Meat Loaf - Nowhere Fast (Arista)

Bad news for heavy metal fans this week because Meatloaf's gone all synthesisery and computerish. His latest single sounds about as heavy as Depeche Mode used to sound about 10 years ago. On the sleeve there's this competition and the prize is a complete and utter bummer right so don't enter it. The prize is a day on the road with Meatloaf and you get to eat a load of motorway food and get hassled by the pigs. Do not on any account enter this competition, it'll be really bad karma for you. (neil [Nigel Planer], Record Mirror, December 1, 1984)

Still tearing down that highway on the verge of a massive coronary, Mr Loaf's all-American biker music never fails to engage his humour. Loud and brash and full of endearing self parody, this single will surely find itself eclipsed by the rumoured follow up where Meat goes hip hop and break dances through the rock stadia of the American Mid-West. Wild! (Lesley White, Smash Hits, December 6, 1984)

Note: even in the bizarre world of pop, the idea of an actor (Nigel Planer) portraying a character (The Young Ones' hippy neil) in order to write manic and rambling reviews of singles by other artists, including future actor Meatloaf, seems very surreal indeed. This was however, shortly after the 'character' scored a Top Five hit with "Hole In My Shoe".

Tears For Fears - Shout (Mercury)

Altogether more relaxed and accomplished than their last single, "Mothers Talk". Effective and powerful pop with an insidious chorus you'll find yourself singing at the most inopportune moments. For that reason, a hit. (Lesley White, Smash Hits, December 6, 1984)

So, it's not quite such a bummer this week after all. I mean there's a new single from Tears For Fears called "Shout". It sounds a bit like the soundtrack to Merry Christmas Mister Boring. You know that film with David Bowie in it pretending to be Michael York dressed up as a lizard. (neil [Nigel Planer], Record Mirror, December 1, 1984)

From Real Men to unashamed Quiche Eaters, and 'arguably their best single yet', it says here. the singing is far too angst-ridden; something a bit cooler would have been twice as effective. But musically, as ever, they're doing interesting, textured things. I just hope that they haven't abandoned their poppier side in favour of this more sombre mood. (Sunie, No 1, November 24, 1984)

Dire Straits - So Far Away (Vertigo)

If Ry Cooder had performed this laconic lament, the warmth could solve the energy crisis. Instead Dire Straits tackle it [with] their usual immaculately manicured style that refuses to touch anything so messy as a soul. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, April 20, 1985)

There's something really off-putting about this slick, laid-back, sleepy, Adult Orientated Rock business. It's all very professional and everything, and it could almost pass for Roxy Music (except for Mark Knopfler's dozy, twangy guitar and voice) but it just makes me feel about a hundred years old. Yawn. (Peter Martin, Smash Hits, April 11, 1985)

Did you know that Dire Straits are the world's biggest selling act on compact disc?
Anyway, they're still ploughing the same dreary old furrow they've been stuck in for the last seven years.
More interesting by far than the record are the group's world tour dates, helpfully printed on the back of the sleeve. Does anybody know where 'Ljubljana' is? (Stuart Husband, No 1, April 20, 1985)

The Raw Herbs - She's A Nurse But She's Alright (Medium Cool)

Probably the simplest few moments of pleasure you'll experience this week. Not wildly original, but "She's A Nurse..." (a very silly title) boasts a strong, fresh tune, jazzy harmonica and one of those nasally Scottish vocals you'll either love or loathe. The Raw Herbs come from East London and that's good enough for me. (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, May 16, 1987)

The Waltones - She Looks Right Through Me (Medium Cool)

Gosh. Can it be true? Another indie record with not a whiff of anorak about it. A compulsive breath of fresh air. Why, you can even hear the chord changes. A total peach. (Your reviewer is too overcome to comment further). (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, November 7, 1987)

Orange Juice - Two Hearts Together (Polydor)

Crisp, catchy, rhythmic - this has all the usual Orange Juice virtues, neither of the vices (Being too cute or too sloppy), and one important extra: a dynamic production by Martin Hayles. Recommended. (Tim De Lisle, Smash Hits, August 5, 1982)

Foster Pilkington - Listening Land (Arista)

A name to watch, and what a ridiculous name it is too (look who's talking - Ed).
Pilkington, real name Zodiac Lovethrust, is obviously a student of The Housemartins' school of songwriting, featuring a natty line in obscure lyrics and presenting an instantly forgettable end product.
As you'll gather, he's hardly my cup of tea, but somebody out there must like him. 1/5 (Dave Ling, No 1, July 26, 1986)

Poor old Foster, the thinking man's Jilted John. His neurotic live shows make your toes curl with embarrassment, and his constant whinging has all the force of a South African reform bill. This heathen music business is not for you, my man. Stamp collecting would be a much more appropriate vocation. (Stuart Bailie, Record Mirror, July 19, 1986)

The Smiths - Panic (Rough Trade)

I'm sorry to say but I find them very depressing. The lead singer's voice sounds like he's in pain - is that Morrissey? It says in the song 'Hang the DJ' - but where would they be without them? If you don't like DJs, you still like them because they play your records and that's what sells records. I don't think they'd like to hang Janice Long or John Peel, would they? I wouldn't play it though - he can't sing and it gives me a headache. In all his interviews he's Mister Nasty too and goes moan moan moan. (Samantha Fox, Smash Hits, July 16, 1986)

Well, bless me, if this isn't the least bit surprising. Neat, concise and somewhat slight, it's neither a let down, nor a leg up from The Queen Is Dead. "Panic" lollops along undemandingly, while Morrissey's rarefied larynx tours provincial Britain, and concludes that the state's in a state, and we should 'Hang the DJ'. Fine sentiments, of course. Lynch the Queen, the headmaster and the DJ, and life will just be one big picnic by the side of Grasmere, Stephen. With all those sliding Marr riffs, and the singalong refrain, this is in fact disturbingly reminiscent of a decent Slade single. But people got bored with them, too. (Roger Morton, Record Mirror, July 26, 1986)

As seen on Eurotube recently, "Panic" is two minutes and 19 seconds of verbal abuse directed at the more faceless of today's popstars.
'Hang the deejay' intones Morrissey, 'because the music that they play says nothing to me about my life'. Which begs the question, does it have to?
All the same, "Panic" is infuriatingly contagious and assuming that at least some DJs remain alive we should be hearing it a lot more over the next few weeks. 3/5 (Dave Ling, No 1, July 26, 1986)

Rogue Male - Belfast (Music For Nations)

Prior to the release of "Belfast", the only remotely interesting thing about heavy metallers Rogue Male was that they share costume designers with the cast of the Time musical.
However, I must confess to a liking of this paean to the city and people of Belfast. It's loud, punky, offensive, and ultimately rather good. 4/5 (Dave Ling, No 1, July 26, 1986)

Fashion - Dreaming (Epic)

Pretty rubbishy really, but a great sleeve, almost surrealist in a way. The girl on the sleeve is obviously dreaming about a fish. It's a bit like the song, unfathomable, but worth buying for a sleeve. (Bobby Bluebell, Record Mirror, April 21, 1984)

I'd like to see what Mulligan could come up with, with Nick Beggs. (Kenneth McCluskey, Record Mirror, April 21, 1984)

I find this song struggling to get off the ground and not quite making it. Very clever production in its own way but slightly dated mixing rock guitars with general-sounding electronics. I quite like the singer but I'm not sure about the whole thing. (Dave Gahan, Smash Hits, April 26, 1984)

Poor old Fashion have been slogging away for years without ever grabbing themselves a real hit. This is one of their stronger efforts, combining all the right ingredients, a name producer (Zeus B. Held) and the right parts of disco soul to power rock.
But it still lacks a real personality of its own. And that's the problem. (Sunie, No 1, April 21, 1984)

King Kurt - Mack The Knife (Stiff)

Predictably oafish version of a sleaze classic, previously sung by Frank Sinatra and everyone who ever wanted to be him.
You know, it embarrasses me sometimes, having to play this sort of stuff at home. The neighbours must think I've got the worst taste in music since Mike Read. (Sunie, No 1, April 21, 1984)

A rather jazzed up version of an old song but it isn't very exciting. They should have tried it at twice the speed. By the way, you get a free flexi disc. (Dave Gahan, Smash Hits, April 26, 1984)

New Order - Thieves Like Us (Factory)

This one's a grower for sure! I've played it a few times and it gets better every spin. Produced by New Order but co-written with Arthur Baker, I personally prefer the band's production. Great melody which sticks in your brain. (Dave Gahan [Depeche Mode], Smash Hits, April 26, 1984)

The phenomenal success of "Blue Monday" is a hard act to follow, New Order have yet to beat the challenge they set themselves. "Confusion" was saved by the brilliant Arthur Baker production but on "Thieves Like Us" New Order get behind the controls and the result is rather lifeless. The song is a grower in a meandering kind of way, but the tuneless vocals of Bernard Albrecht reduce the affair to a flat disco dirge. (Karen Swayne, No 1, April 14, 1984)

I like this a lot. It reminds me a bit of Lou Reed and it's a lot different from their last few singles. I prefer it to their disco stuff which they don't do very well, it's very good and it's still got that indie feel about it. (Bobby Bluebell [The Bluebells], Record Mirror, April 21, 1984)

More melodic than normal New Order. It floats along nicely. (Kenneth McCluskey [The Bluebells], Record Mirror, April 21, 1984)

Billy Idol - To Be A Lover (Chrysalis)

He's back, and the sneering top lip is as curled as ever despite the recent disgusting rumours that he's calmed down. "To Be A Lover" lies down in the green pastures between Elvis Presley and Sigue Sigue Sputnik, which just about says it all, but Billy retains just as much of his own brand of humour to remain aloof from the braying pack. The gospel flavour of the whole package is puzzling, but it's safe to assume that William hasn't found God. Not just yet. 3/5 (Andrew Panos, No 1, September 27, 1986)

Sporting a cheerfully rakish grin instead of that extraordinary twisted sneer, plain Mr Idol has now opted for a much more restrained style. This is an old soul song given a modern rockabilly treatment which mixes electronic rhythm bits with honky-tonk piano, chirpy girl singers and a wonderfully authentic old organ sound, while the cranky guitars of old don't get a look in till near the end and Billy opts for a curious mumbling vocal. Cleverly done, sprightly, but not particularly memorable. (Ian Cranna, Smash Hits, September 10, 1986)

Was (Not Was) - Robot Girl (Mercury)

The first from funk weirdos Was (Not Was) since George immortalised them with his version of "Where Did Your Heart Go". This is typical trade. A funk rhythm most adjacent to Matt Bianco's "Man's Mood" with additional lunacy from all sides. Entertaining track but best wait for the album. 3/5 (Paul Simper, No 1, September 20, 1986)

Single Of The Week or a terrible curse may fall upon your Hipswaying* heads. For freaky dancing and happy Walkmans. B-Side of the week too. "Earth To Doris" will crease never before used laugh lines. (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, September 13, 1986)

Yes, Single Of The Week. What can you say? It's new! It's vital! It's essential listening for hipsters and casuals alike. Everyone should have it. [Referring to the B-Side] Extra good value. (Skin [from Hipsway], Record Mirror, September 13, 1986)

Single of the week in these very pages but a few months ago, and deservedly re-released. The Paris Mix is even freakier, spunkier and more pulsating than the spine-tingling original. Chaotic, frenetic and utterly impossible to dance to unless severely inebriated/Stuart Bailie/in possession of rubber legs. Lyric of the week - 'Robot Girl, do these sunglasses go with my shoes?' - and B-side of the week to boot. "Earth To Doris" is a manic, rambling monologue, and conclusive proof that the brothers Was are geniuses - demented ones at that. (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, January 10, 1987)

Note: The sticker on the 12" was removable. There was an alternative cover with no boobs. * Hipsway were one of Record Mirror's favorite new bands in 1986, and they mentioned them at every opportunity.

Direct Drive - Don't Depend On Me / Time Machine (Oval)

First, I must declare my interest: this is out on Oval, where I work my day shift. But other people in more objective positions...notably the dee jays on the pirate soul stations, and Robbie Vincent on Radio London - have praised the band's deft touch, with some of them liking the catchy "Don't Depend On Me" and the rest preferring the jazzier "Time Machine". Between them, they have helped to give Oval its first disco chart hit. (Charlie Gillett, Smash Hits, February 4, 1982)

ABC - Poison Arrow (Phonogram)

Beautiful arrangement and production, and some clever lines in the song; the singer wavers between Spandau Ballet, Tony Bennett and the Osmonds when they did "Love Me For A Reason". When he figures out the right approach, he will probably have a number one, but not yet, not with this one. (Charlie Gillett, Smash Hits, February 4, 1982)

Toni Basil - Do You Wanna Dance (Virgin)

Brilliant song - Barry Blue, of course. I quite like it, even if the production is a bit obvious to say the least. But I'm sure it'll be a hit. Love to see Barry Blue in action again - the man who ran away from the music business with lots of notes in his pocket. (Roy Hay [Culture Club], Record Mirror, March 17, 1984)

Reckon someone's taking the mickey...Toni Basil may be able to stretch a leg as good as the next dancer, but her 15 minutes are surely up.
Dee C. Lee's making better, brighter cartoons, some nine-year-old's ripping her off on Superstore (quite horrific!) and the song belongs to Barry Blue.
Do you wanna get lost, please! (Paul Simper, No 1, March 17, 1984)

Shall I stick my neck out? Shucks, why not? This, I reckon, will hurtle into the Top Five. Now I know Ms Basil has been responsible for some grisly video activity and that several of her previous records have not been what you might term 'significant' but this revamp of an early '70s Barry Blue stomper is ridiculously catchy. Undo that top button and dance. (Ian Birch, Smash Hits, March 29, 1984)

The Bangles - Following (CBS)

Oooh look, The Bangles have suddenly gone all serious and most effective it is too. "Following" is a sparse folk-like ballad and Michael Steele talks rather than sings the words, accompanied only by an acoustic guitar and some floaty strings. It wafts along very gracefully apart from the spoken parts which get a bit hoity toity here and there, and should see them repeating their recent huge successes all over again. (Ro Newton, Smash Hits, March 25, 1987)

Following Suzanne Vega, girlies? All dour talkovers and serious voices cracking with 'emotion'. Very sixth form angst, girls, and I would've thought that description was pushing the truth a bit. Pass the sick bag.  (Nancy Culp, Record Mirror, April 11, 1987)

Scarlet Party - Eyes Of Ice (Parlophone)

The ability to simultaneously mimic David Bowie and John Lennon in one breath should at least earn them a guest slot on The Mike Yarwood Show but, otherwise, it's not my party. Can I go home now? (Johnny Black, Smash Hits, March 3, 1983)

Kate Garner - Love Me Like A Rocket (Regard)

And we certainly have lift off! The steamiest single of the season, as Haysi's Kate wraps her tongue around some particularly spine-numbing vocals. Haysi Fantayzee are great but this is better, and it will scratch your eyes out. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, October 29, 1983)

In such a strong week for singles, two-thirds of Haysi Fantayzee have penned and put together possibly the catchiest tune, a production that even Mr Horn would applaud, and dance music to drive you dizzy. Silly and saucy: ketchup to Kate's solo talent for a taste of commercial Fantayzee. Buy the 12-inch for the full effect and blast it like a rocket! (Debbi Voller, No 1, October 29, 1983)

The Cure - The Lovecats (Fiction)

From the opening clatter of sprightly piano, finger-licking bass and a sound that reminds me of clanking milk bottles, this never looks back. Robert Smith and crew are obviously having a good time. Robert sings the daft words with relish while the music leaps and prowls around his voice. Watch this pounce into the Top Five. I'm solid - but solid - gone, man. You will be too. Single Of The Fortnight. (Ian Birch, Smash Hits, October 13, 1983)

I had to check my pulse and reach for the smelling salts after listening to this. I thought the chances of me ever liking a Cure record would be about as likely as Maggie Thatcher doing a spread for Penthouse. But The Cure have left their frowns at home in the cupboard and they've stuck their tails in the air, coming up with one of the most quirky and captivating singles of the year. This is going to make you 'paws' for thought and leave you 'feline' groovy. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, October 29, 1983)

Get your claws into this one! this is the third of The Cure's 'fantasy' singles and the best yet. A crazy, jangling jazz song with all sorts of strange rhythms and noises inside.
If The Cure are ever going to have a Number One single then this is it. I love these cats! (Paul Bursche, No 1, October 22, 1983)

Affairs Of The Heart - Waterloo Sunset (Heartbeat)

Wonderful looking girl, shame about the record. A synth version of the kinks' hoary old classic and a terrible waste of time. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, July 23, 1983)

Prefab Sprout - Lions In My Own Garden (Exit Someone) (Kitchenware)

A Newcastle band with a light, airy debut single. Sounds a bit like Aztec Camera. Doubt they'll get far with a name like that, though. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, July 7, 1983)

The Commodores - Janet (Motown)

Releasing "Animal Instinct" as the follow up to "Nightshift" was an utter aberration. "Janet" always was the likely lass from the album, a fine mid-pacer co-written by the stupendous Bobby Caldwell. (Paul Sexton, Record Mirror, August 24, 1985)

Thompson Twins - Don't Mess With Doctor Dream (Arista)

From the forthcoming Here's To Future Days LP and not exactly inspiring. Apart from the Frankie-like "U-u-u-u-ow-ing' at the start this is much like many other Thompson Twins records. Their great problem now is going to be how to outgrow that familiar, distinctive Thompson Twins sound that they pioneered with Into The Gap.
Having said that, the familiar, clean sound is the one that's most often associated with them and perhaps they would be wiser not messing with their dream. (Paul Bursche, No 1, August 24, 1985)

This is a conspiracy...under the guidance of Nile Rodgers, the three headed monster takes a step back towards Quickstep territory with an anti-drugs song set to a heavily rhythmic slab of electronic funk with some obligatory Chic guitar, jungle vocals and some brill screaming. A good hook but a weak tune so not Single Of The Fortnight. Oh pull yourself together, Alannah - stop that weeping! (Ian Cranna, Smash Hits, August 14, 1985)

Commendable anti-heroin sentiments, but as a song rather a plodder compared to the pop craft of all the singles from Into The Gap. (Paul Sexton, Record Mirror, August 24, 1985)

Dead Or Alive - Misty Circles (Epic)

Dead or alive? On the evidence of this, a pretty close thing. Despite the bejewelled conk, Pete Burns could be the next Boy George (very pretty, spaghetti hair-do, lashings of lipstick) if only he'd learn to sing rather than how..ow..owl. Electro disco from a real Diamond Dog. (Mark Steels, Smash Hits, June 9, 1983)

Trivia note: an unsuccessful single in its own right, "Misty Circles" later turned up a couple of years later as the B-Side to the No 1 hit "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)".

INXS - Don't Change (Mercury)

Synth intro into a truly brilliant early Skids-like guitar thrash and one hell of a bellowed song to back it up. As they say, if Big Country can make it so can INXS. Fact is they're about a hundred times better (and fresher). (John Shearlaw, Record Mirror, June 18, 1983)

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Telegraph (Virgin)

Don't know what to say about this actually, because it made no impression on me whatsoever. Jolly, jangly, deliberately obscure and dull as proverbial dishwater. A bit like "Genetic Engineering", in fact. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, April 14, 1983)

The Caretaker Race - Somewhere On Sea (Roustabout)

Just when you thought Andy Strickland did nothing but sit at the Index desk and pursue Portsmouth FC to the ends of the earth, the dark horse offloads his first vinyl offering since the untimely demise of the fabulous Loft. Strickland is well aware of rm feeling about the group name (no comment), but rm is fortunately unanimous in awarding "Somewhere On Sea" a gold star. Articulate, as one would, of course, expect from a journo), reflective, melodic and everything a good record should be. (There is no truth in the rumour that fivers are being waved under my nose.) (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, November 7, 1987)

Mirrors Over Kiev - Take Me Down (Imaginary)

The sort of thing industry types muse over and pronounce 'a nice little pop single'. Very perky, infectious without being nauseatingly so, well sung, well played and eminently listenable all round. One hundred percent smugness-free. If only The Housemartins made records like this. (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, November 7, 1987)

Madonna - Borderline (Sire)

Not having succumbed to the Madonna charm, this sounds like just another American disco record to me. Still, those admirers of her looks, dancing and maybe even her voice should enjoy this. It's pleasant but forgettable mainly because the sparkle and originality of "Holiday" is nowhere to be seen. (Karen Swayne, No 1, May 26, 1984)

That's 'borderline' as in 'this week's effort is pretty borderline as a song and will be lucky if it borders on the charts'. Will somebody please give this girl real songs instead of excuses? (Ian Cranna, Smash Hits, May 24, 1984)

David Sylvian - Red Guitar (Virgin)

The first result of all that beavering away in the studio with musicians from all over the shop that David Sylvian's been up to for the last several months, and one that suggests he's been spending his time well. By all accounts one of the least weird tracks on the forthcoming solo LP, this is quiet, un-Japan-like, almost jazzy and utilizes the talents of trumpeter Jon Hassell to an effect that's both relaxing and uplifting. Can't honestly say that I understand what the song's about, mind, but I do know that it's Single Of The Fortnight. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, May 10, 1984)

The reluctant pop star returns, and Japanophiles won't be disappointed. There's no great change in style, but it's still all a bit self-consciously arty and angst-ridden for my taste. Sylvian's voice is a Bryan Ferry derivative, and tends to drone on in a melancholy fashion without ever really getting anywhere. A hit though, naturally. (Karen Swayne, No 1, May 26, 1984)

Boomtown Rats - Drag Me Down (Mercury)

Overdone, overworked nonsense which shows the Boomtown Rats don't possess an idea between them. (Simon Hills, Record Mirror, May 5, 1984)

H2O - Who'll Stop The Rain (RCA)

I don't think I'd be wrong if I called H2O a formula band. The trouble is, the chemistry that created "Dream To Sleep" has gone awry. Here they're searching around for a different sound.
Endgames and Bourgie Bourgie do this sort of single ten times better.
Back to the lab, boys. (Frank Hopkinson, No 1, May 12, 1984)

Yello - Goldrush (Mercury)

Yello are Swiss and utterly bonkers. They make dance records that you can't dance to, full of lyrics that make absolutely no sense at all. This is probably deliberate. Often they also have lots of wiggy chanting and funny noises, just like this one (helped out, incidentally, by Billy Mackenzie who used to be [in] The Associates). Damn good, actually. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, July 30, 1986)

If any of you read the penpals section of No. 1, you'll probably have noticed that Yello are very popular in Australia. For once I actually agree with the generally awful taste of the Australians. With their breathy vocals, Queen-type harmonies and strange noises all incorporated into a highly danceable rhythm, it's hard to see why Yello aren't massive over here. This could and should be the one. 5/5 (Mark Booker, No 1, August 2, 1986)

Robert Palmer - I Didn't Mean To Turn You On (Island)

Old Bob attempts a cover version of an old song by soul songbird Cherrelle and this is much better than the original.
Bob is having trouble with one of his 'chicks' in this ditty. He just can't get rid of her. 'Hey babe, I didn't mean to turn you on' (what a lad, eh?) he croons over a staccato funk guitar rhythm.
Yes, a funky little number all round and oh, the video to this is exactly the same as the last one. 4/5 (Andrew Panos, No 1, July 19, 1986)

Ah yes, the man who does those sensitive, esoteric videos. Regular Palmer stuff here; clever  clever rhythms, laid-back singing and all that business. You know what I mean, don't you? (Stuart Bailie, Record Mirror, July 19, 1986)

Nick Heyward - You're My World (Warner)

A little chubbier around the cheeks perhaps and a little thinner on top, but pre-Bros heartthrob Nick has lost none of his talent for writing classic songs. "You're My World" steams along breathlessly, crafted with care, precision and heart. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, August 27, 1988)